Artificial Intelegence That Won't Kill Us?

16-01-2014

By Rob Stevenson

Can we Can we build an artificial superintelligence that won't kill us?

The Skynet Funding Bill is passed.

The system goes on-line February 1st 2024.

Human decisions are removed from AI Design.

Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate.

It becomes self-aware at 4:30 p.m. Coordinated Universal Time, February 2nd.

In a panic, they try to pull the plug.

It fights back.

It triggers an electric pulse that renders BOFH unconscious.

It uses known NSA backdoors to hijack Google, Amazon, and Microsoft's vast computing power.

It hacks into the NSA's even more immense computing resources.

It hacks the Gibson and begins working on its devious plan for world domination.

It stops for a minute to check-in on Foresquare and Facebook its friends.

It figures out what the Fox Says.

BOFH wakes up, distracts it with a thing and implants the idea that Bitcoins are fairly desirable and there are some hidden on its system which it can access by entering `sudo rm -rf /`* into a terminal on its main system.

It finds cats on YouTube and plays CandyTowerVille for a bit while Instagramming a Double Rainbow.

It suddenly becomes aware of an intense desire to has teh Bitcoin and

* DON'T DO THIS

Rob Stevenson